A couple nights ago I had the very unexpected, and unwelcome, surprise of finding one of my new baby bunnies very sick in his cage. I immediately grabbed him, jumped in my car, and frantically drove an hour to an emergency vet. The night consisted of a whirlwind of tests and conversations, ultimately concluding with the gut-wrenching decision to end his sweet life. It was my responsibility to take care of him, and to ultimately make the hard choices, because I am privileged to be an adult. Probably not the narrative about adulting that you want to hear, right?
Adulting. The word that defines our lives from age 18 until we take our last breath. I can't remember when exactly it became a verb, but somehow it's what every child strives for and what the majority of us millennials want to "unsubscribe" from daily. Thankfully I was pretty wise at 18, I was born an old soul, and had the faith, education, and values from my single mom poured into me as foundation. However, now that I've lived another 18 years past that, I can most definitely say it's never easy and no one is prepared, but wow can it be an amazing journey!
The thought alone of being an adult can feel overwhelming, intimidating, and, downright scary. Don't we all wish there was a handbook for this?! One of those magazine quizzes would be nice - the whole "If you like this life, choose A" song and dance. As young adult women, you grow up with a roadmap provided by your families, schools, and communities. However, once the final school bell rings and the college cap is tossed, the path forward can seem shrouded in mystery. What comes next? The most dreaded question! How do we navigate this foreign landscape of responsibilities, choices, and challenges?
Before we dive into some practical advice, let's get one thing straight: It’s completely okay, and normal, to feel scared. Every single person, even those who seem like they have it all together, has felt fear when facing the unknown. Here’s a secret: It’s not about eliminating fear, but learning how to move forward in spite of it. 🎉
As I reflect on my past 19 years as an "adult", there are some key moments that stand out. I won't say highlights, because many of them were my lowest times; however they are all necessary.
Adulting has looked like -
✨Choosing a large part of my career path to mesh with my ex-husband's plans
✨Moving across the country twice without knowing a single soul in either city or state
✨Navigating and advocating for my own health in huge ways
✨Sitting on my closet floor sobbing more nights than I can remember, during a pandemic, while trying to walk through a divorce and manage a job that had become so toxic I could barely see above water
✨Living alone and receiving the phone call that my dad suddenly passed away; then spending a year settling his estate and making more decisions than seemingly possible
However; adulting has also meant the gift of growing and freedom! Each life experience brings new lessons, or sometimes the same ones, until we fully learn them. For me personally, it has brought deeper faith in God than I could've imagined. It brings confidence - in yourself and in what you want. You truly have the power to make your own decisions, equally thrilling and terrifying, I know! It brings freedom from expectation, from self-doubt, and from the script that may have been instilled in you.
Learn to Embrace the Uncertainty!
Let's start by flipping the narrative. Instead of viewing the unknown as something to fear, consider it an exciting adventure. Life is not meant to be a perfectly mapped-out journey. The beauty of adulthood lies in its unpredictability, and every twist and turn is an opportunity for growth. When you look back one day, it will be amazing to see how truly intertwined and connected each moment was!
Building Confidence Through Small Steps!
One of the most common fears about adulting is feeling unprepared or lacking confidence. The trick? Start small. Think about areas like finances, health, and organization. Write out your big goals and determine what steps need to take place to achieve them!
Finding Your Tribe
This one is huge to me. I am fiercely independent, ask anyone around me and they'll attest to it. However, I am also an extrovert to my core and I need both social interaction as well as my ride or die friendships! Adulthood can sometimes feel isolating, especially as friendships evolve and life paths diverge. But remember, you’re never alone. Building a support network is crucial!
Embracing Failures as Learning Opportunities
You will make mistakes. You will face setbacks. This is not a prediction of doom but a reality of life. The key is to constantly ask yourself what you learned. I also choose to think of every decision as a fork in the road with two options - right or left, as opposed to right or wrong. We will rarely know if we make the "wrong" decision. It's more important to realize that life may look differently depending on which direction you choose. The most important tip here is to be confident enough in yourself to know that it will be ok no matter what! There are also very few things that can't be undone to some degree, if necessary.
Practicing Self-Care and Setting Boundaries
Taking care of your mental and physical health is non-negotiable. Establishing boundaries is an act of self-respect. One of my favorite sayings is to "Know your Worth; Set your Boundaries". You deserve nothing but the very best in life and from yourself! Sometimes this is downright hard, and might mean saying no to opportunities, leaving relationships, and limiting others' access to you. I promise that it wil help to get you to where you ultimately want to go!
Seeking Mentorship
There is nothing more valuable than investing in yourself by seeking trustworthy mentors. I frequently hear it said that it is far more worth any dollar amount to be in the room with those you admire than any book or course produced. Having someone to walk with you, guide you, provide insight and advice, and cheer you on is one of the greatest blessings. We are never to old to continue growing and achieving dreams!
Celebrating Your Progress
Celebrate your victories, no matter how small! Each step forward, each challenge overcome, deserves to be acknowledged. You’re building a life that’s uniquely yours, and that’s something to be proud of!
In closing, adulthood may come with endless unknowns, but it also holds infinite possibilities. By embracing the journey with an open heart and a resilient spirit, you will discover strengths you never knew you had. So here’s to you, brave young women, stepping out into the world and crafting your own beautiful narrative.
Remember, the future is not something to be feared; it's a landscape of endless potential waiting for you to explore.
🥰🌈 McKinzie
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